Here are five reasons people don’t seek assistance, followed by an equal number of ways to make a SMART request. They are provided by the director of the Center for Positive Organization at the University of Michigan Ross School of Business.

People in the workplace wait to ask for help until they’re stuck and completely desperate. Why? Here are some of the reasons why we don’t ask, based on my experiences over many years working with executives, professionals, and business students, as well as relevant research.

  1. We are too self-reliant. Being confident in your ability to get things done alone is motivating, but it’s possible to go too far. Often, we can be much more effective, efficient, and creative by reaching out and asking for input and resources from other people.
  2. We don’t want to appear weak, ignorant, or incompetent. We see asking for help as a sign of weakness, but we need to question that belief. Research suggests that as long as you make a thoughtful request, people will think you are more competent, not less.
  3. We lack psychological safety. Psychological safety means that a workplace is safe for what Amy Edmonson calls “interpersonal risk taking.” People feel safe to speak up, admit mistakes, and ask for help. It’s simply a lot easier to ask if you aren’t afraid of being ridiculed or criticized for doing so.
  4. We assume no one can help us. Many people have told me they don’t ask for what they need because they assume no one can help them. Numerous studies demonstrate, however, that most people – even strangers – are willing to help. But you have to ask. They can’t help you if they don’t know what you need.
  5. We don’t feel we’ve earned the privilege of making a request. Asking is a privilege earned by helping others, we assume. But if everyone waited to give help before they received it, nothing would happen. Requests drive the giving-receiving cycle. In the short term, you might ask more than you give. The long-term goal is to be both a giver and a requestor in equal measure.

 To make an effective, empowering request, follow the SMART criteria:

  • Asking for something specific triggers people’s memories of what they know and who they know. A general request does not. The most general request I ever heard was from an executive from the Netherlands who said, “My request is for information.” And that was it. I asked, “Can you elaborate?” And then he said, “No, it’s confidential. I can’t say anything more.” Well, he got no help that day. The more specific your request, the more effective it will be.
  • Include why you’re making this request. People often leave this out, but it’s the most important part of the SMART criteria. Why do you need that particular resource? What are you trying to achieve? Suppose, for example, that you simply said, “I need some volunteers to review a report for me.” This doesn’t tell why the request is important and meaningful.
  • Ask for something to be done, rather than restating your goal or the why of your request. In the example above, the action is people volunteering and then reviewing and providing feedback. Just saying “I need some volunteers to review a report for me” does not provide enough information about the actions required.
  • I encourage people to make stretch requests, but they need to be within the realm of possibility.
  • Mentioning a specific deadline is much better than a general one. If your request is urgent, say so. Urgency will motivate people to respond.
Tom Schuman is the senior vice president of communications & operations for the Indiana Chamber. He is also the editor of the Chamber’s award-winning BizVoice magazine and has been with the organization for 21 years.